The other day I was walking out of work with a co-worker. When it was time to say good bye we awkwardly hugged, as only co-workers can do, said good bye and then proceeded to walk down the street in the same direction.
One time I peed on my hand by accident on the way to a keg party. I was young and in college and hopeful of a one night stand so I had to rub my pee-stinky hand in people garden flowers on the way there.
I woke up this morning and poured my cereal into a bowl, then I realized we had no milk so I had to pour it back into the box. Fuck my life.
This week was really hectic at work and we had this big deadline. I don't get paid enough to care about deadlines and I think my boss knows this so he sent us an email that started like this:
Guys – I can feel the progress. Can you feel it?? I can feel the energy pulsating from our pods!!
Great progress was made last week and I’ve seen firsthand things progress quite a bit over the last two days. I love the activity guys – love it!
I think it had the opposite effect that he wanted. He even ended the email like this:
Thanks guys – only one thing left to say before I leave, and that is…
BRING IT!
Whatever, David Brent...
You know you've got to get a new job when you log in password at work is 'fuckthisplace.'
My last bit of truth: This blog has been high-jacked!
***Editor's note: This post was written by my brother and i think he was attempting to tap into the Tarantula Preserves.
4 comments:
Stay out of my rose bushes!
-Area homeowner/gardening enthusiast
Guys – I can feel the progress. Can you feel it?? I can feel the energy pulsating from our pods!!
Great progress was made last week and I’ve seen firsthand things progress quite a bit over the last two days. I love the activity guys – love it!
The next day, seven workers brought rifles to work.
Seriously, I am going to post this in huge letters in my office, just so I can be reminded that miserable as running a business is, working for some other asshole is likely to be worse.
I could take him
--Tom's younger brother
I love the horrific mutilation of language in that email.
The moronic author was trying to motivate, but wrote with a voice of total selfishness. There is no attempt to include the audience in the "energy" or the "progress." We are left feeling as contributors external to the process, removed from any hope of reward. Truly, the author is destined for a long, unhappy life of middle management, unfulfilled in any aspect.
Post a Comment