The other day I was walking out of work with a co-worker. When it was time to say good bye we awkwardly hugged, as only co-workers can do, said good bye and then proceeded to walk down the street in the same direction.
One time I peed on my hand by accident on the way to a keg party. I was young and in college and hopeful of a one night stand so I had to rub my pee-stinky hand in people garden flowers on the way there.
I woke up this morning and poured my cereal into a bowl, then I realized we had no milk so I had to pour it back into the box. Fuck my life.
This week was really hectic at work and we had this big deadline. I don't get paid enough to care about deadlines and I think my boss knows this so he sent us an email that started like this:
Guys – I can feel the progress. Can you feel it?? I can feel the energy pulsating from our pods!!
Great progress was made last week and I’ve seen firsthand things progress quite a bit over the last two days. I love the activity guys – love it!
I think it had the opposite effect that he wanted. He even ended the email like this:
Thanks guys – only one thing left to say before I leave, and that is…
Whatever, David Brent...
You know you've got to get a new job when you log in password at work is 'fuckthisplace.'
My last bit of truth: This blog has been high-jacked!
***Editor's note: This post was written by my brother and i think he was attempting to tap into the Tarantula Preserves.