Thursday, November 30, 2006

New Series: Is This Woman Hitting On Me?

I was waiting for a friend in the video store where I work the odd night or two and a in walked another coworker. She is around 5' maybe 5'3" (it is hard to tell with the shorties) and petite. She has black hair is really attractive. We joke a lot at work and stuff and generally get along well. Somehow, we got to talking about phones and pictures on them. I show my nephew around to her and the other employee and some other photos and we all laugh at the picture I have of the ad for The Vampire Lestat: The Musical with songs by Elton John. The potential flirt then says that she has pictures on her phone. Naked pictures. Of her. That she then shows me.

I need a minute before I type further because there are flames. On the side of my face. Flames.

She giggles and I am trying to formulate a coherent discharge of electricity from one neuron to the other in my brain which had shorted the hell out. It is enough to say that the picture was hot and confirms all of the suspicions in my head since the Nudity Buffer was passed.

This woman has previously said that she thinks that the chubby Will Ferrel is hot and that she likes tall men with a bit of meat. And girth. In the penis region.

So I ask the question: Is she hitting on me?

Please put this instead of my name:
Clueless in DC But Still a Freaking Genius.


Clif said...

No, Chuckles, she's thinks your gay and if you don't hit back on her, she's going to tell everyone that you're gay. If you do hit back on her, she plans on leading you on a bit and then dumping you before things get exciting. It's a lose-lose situation! :0

Then again, maybe she is hitting on you. But consider this: do you want to get involved with someone who carries around nude pictures of herself or himself on a cellphone? Who else has seen those photos? Also, how can you be sure they are not Photoshopped and are not simply a cruel trick?

Clif said...

your = you're

teh l4m3 said...

Dear Clueless,

Sounds like the little minx wants you to formulate a coherent discharge... on her face! Make a date, and next time you meet, break the ice with your massive wang!



PS Cowgirls looooove ridin' bareback!

Chuckles said...

They were not photoshopped. Unless she is a master at making photoshops jobs look like cell phone camera quality pictures. She took them herself.

Crap, my brain just flushed again. I need to reinstall my OS and replace the nudity buffer with one of longer duration.

Chuckles said...

Yeah, I think we are working together tomorrow. Further reports as the situation develops.

Good thing I bought new jeans because the old ones would not be able to handle the strain.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

She's clearly fucked up. Who the hell shows a co-worker naked pictures of herself? A woman you can sleep with who will then proceed to stalk you and your family 24/7. Stay as far away from her as possible, Clueless.

P.S. Where the heck is AG's pictures of your nephew? Goddamnit! What does a girl have to do to get some cute 2 year old photos on the blog?!!!

Cock-Eyed Mick said...

she's hitting on you...but be careful of the crazy.

Clif said...

Send me a picture, any picture, and in 30 seconds I can make it look like it was taken by a cellphone. So the photos still could have been altered.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Clifwagon, is that a photo challenge?

Do it, Chuckie! Do it!

AG is really beginning to crush on Clifwagon.

Chuckles said...

Who doesn't AG crush on?

She is the instant crush machine. AG crushes so fast, she works in the salvage yard.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

No, UC was the one who worked at S unit's salvage yard. And for the record -- S-unit crushes on AG. He told UC's Daddy so!!

AG doesn't crush on Chuckie or Res. AG hearts, triple hearts Res, but he clearly does not have the same taste in men as AG. Thus, we couldn't three way as AG would just be taking drink orders which would be no fun for um, AG!!! So AG can only heart Res and have a secret crush on him.

More importantly, secret blog lover knows who he is. When oh when will he show up here and admit that he knows AG hearts him. UC knows who it is.

Neener neener.

Chuckles said...

Yawn. I don't care anymore about your fickle heart.

You are simply jealous that I get mad bitches and you don't get any of me.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Oh yes, I want a man who attracts crazy girls who photoshop photos and show them to their co-workers.

Chuckie, I expected better out of you.

fish said...

Have her send me those pictures and I will tell you if they are fake. The pictures I mean. Really.

Chuckles said...

Yeah, we'll all want to see if they are fake.

The photos I mean.

Brando said...

Sweet Jesus, I grew up at the wrong fucking time. Back in my day, the only way you could get nekkid pictures of a girl you were courtin' was to climb up the tree next to her window.

Seriously, Chuckles, beware of the overeager exhibitionist. Like the La Brea Tar pits, what looks like a tasty film of water could be a sticky death trap.

However, if you have no tires that could be slashed or rabbits that could be boiled...I mean, how often does a man get into a situation like this? Just make sure she won't mail NAMBLA catalogs to your parents. ;-)

Chuckles said...

Yeah, she ain't gonna be finding my parents. She could find out where I lived, but I doubt she would be able to boil my tarantula. He tends to eat people that try that.

I keep my bike in my apartment and my car in my mind so people like that can't get to them.

I don't really think she is an overeager exhibitionist because I saw her last night and she looked a little sheepish. When I didn't ask her about it and didn't act any differently than before she showed me the picture, she relaxed. I am leaning toward the Hitting On Me category.

teh l4m3 said...

Do eet! DO EET NAU!!!

Dandrobium said...

See, the problem with the nephew pictures is we have a digital camera and HE NEVER STOPS MOVING. He's like the Terminator, he never stops. I'll send on some pictures for Clueless (I agree with Bando's "I grew up in the wrong era" line. The 90's were so ... tame.

Flutterby Fox said...

Definitely hitting on you, and while it's possible that she's crazy as other people have suggested, it's also possible that she just isn't all that shy about it.

Go for it. :)

Flutterby Fox said...

Definitely hitting on you, and while it's possible that she's crazy as other people have suggested, it's also possible that she just isn't all that shy about it.

Go for it. :)

Flutterby Fox said...

This page just posted my comment twice. Fucker.

Alex said...

Does this really need a fucking clarification? If she's showing you her tits before you even ask her out, she's crazy. AND hitting on you.

Go for it anyway. Just don't expect much.

Alex (back from NZ)

The Uncanny Canadian said...

Chuckles, of course she is hitting on you. There's no question about that. But I kind of side with Clif on the long-term potential of this girl. That said the short-term potential sounds wangtastic and if that's what you want, you should definitely take the bait. I mean the .. nevermind.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Fish, I saw that! You better behave. You already have a WIFE, three kids and a wanna-be girlfriend.

Chuckles said...

Yeah, the '90s were tame, but the '80s? I mean it's not like women in the back of vans full of children weren't busy flashing their bodacious tatas at anybody or nothing.

And people, I am not exactly looking for Mrs. Right. I am also not looking for Mrs. Not Right or Mrs. Not Even Wrong. Perhaps I may be looking for a Mrs. Right Now and this one is so definitely wangtastic that all I can say is derfasfdvc.

Know what I mean?

porterhouse said...

I can't believe you remember that! You were, what 9? at the time.

Anyway, she was going to University of Florida, so it was standard behavior and not really a reflection of the hedonistic '80s.

Chuckles said...

I remember it because you mention it like every other time we hang out.