I was recently in a grocery and store, and I decided to use the bathroom while Lady Chemistry was looking at some items. There was a guy using the other urinal when I walked in, and I walked over to the other urinal. As I am unzipping, the dude finishes, flushes, and strolls out. I glanced at the door, and then the sinks. He cruised right past Go, did not collect his $200, did not wash his hands, and went out into the store. A grocery store. Which has food. Which he may have touched. With hands that were just shaking his pee pee.
How do I know he shook his pee pee, you might be asking yourself. He did that lean back and shoulder shake thing that means he was shaking his wiener and flinging the last drops of urine everywhere, including, most probably, his hands and pants.
Mister Pee Pee Hands, you win. I officially hate Virginia again. Thanks for ruining the small pleasures I had cultivated in this formerly mediocre state.