Thursday, August 21, 2008

Heaping Loads

So, I think I am being audited.

Fuck.

Shouldn't be too hard, since I don't have any money. And never have had any money. The IRS probably just wants to tell me that I shouldn't have filed late for the years that I filed, but they owed me money in those years anyway. There are days, and then there are days.

UPDATE: Turns out they want more money for self employment taxes and fees for 2005. HAHA! The jokes on them! I'm broke, bitches! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

14 comments:

NigerianFriend said...

Perhaps, I can be of assistance. I just need your bank account and routing info and we can get all of your finances moved into an offshore account with 15% interest.

Your nigerian friend,
Fulsome

Chuckles said...

I know a fake fulsome when I see one. The real fulsome never capitalizes his f.

NigerianFriend said...

no, no, this is for real. But you must act fast! We are trying to capitalize on our oil profits. It is a win-win, American person.

Please, again send to me your information so that I can be of assistance.

Your nigerian friend,
fFulsome

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Fake fulliecakes?!!

Now that is meshugana.

Snag said...

They don't want your money. Just your soul.

Chuckles said...

They are way too late to get my soul, Snag.

rotten mcdonald said...

I smell the hand of Tucker.

After all, he Will Destroy You.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

He will FUCKING destory him.

Von said...

Rotten, I was going to say the exact same thing. Tucker is totally behind this.

mdh said...

Well, if you own anything valuable, you're fucked - after all, there's a war to pay for.

Just don't make it easy for them. Reschedule every single element of it. Draw it out. Forget to sign checks, and most importantly, DO NOT STAY WITHIN THE LINES on the forms. Blow boogers into the outgoing mail. If they send you a postage paid envelope, fill it with metal blanks and send it in. etc...

Make it cost them to audit you.

Protest mofo. Protest.

Chuckles said...

VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

Kathleen said...

you have to pay a fee to be self-employed?

Chuckles said...

Yeah, self employment tax is the contractor's version of payroll tax or something. I thought they took the payroll tax out back in 2005, but that accountant was fired for incompetence...

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