Thursday, January 17, 2008

X-Files Movie Still

As a devoted fan who dropped this series like a bad habit when it went off into the mushroom fantasy land, I am barely interested in this. Gillian Anderson still has my heart and I want it back. It's nice to see the agents exploring their wardrobes but unless this movie is really cool and features a beach scene, I doubt I'll care about what they're wearing.

11 comments:

dontEATnachos said...

As long as it doesn't have any Reyes or mythology in it, how bad could it be?

I'm actually kind of excited about it and glad that David Duchovny will finally stop talking about there being another X-Files movie coming.

What's actually probably good for this movie is that it's relatively cheap to make so as long as it does ok, and makes maybe 40-50 million, they'll be able to make a sequel.

Chuckles said...

I could see them spending a ton of money on a huge CGI crap-fest. I would expect that if this were 2001 or 2002. Now, I am hopeful that it will be interesting and stuff, but not going to worry myself about it at all.

Mandos said...

Um, since it's NOT a mythology movie, I'm probably not going to watch it. I WANT AN EXPLANATION D**MIT!!! (I don't even use blanked-out swears normally so you can see how bitter my disappointment was.)

I watched the last season of the series in order to GET SOME CLOSURE and the fact that they didn't wrap up or explain anything at all is still an open TV sore.

And how can they make a movie considering that they're on the run from alien fiends?

Chuckles said...

Is that how the series ended? Que'll dommage.

Word is, the movie will be some sort of one-off, monster of the week type but who knows? Only Carter knows.

Mandos said...

It's "Quel dommage." :)

We have no idea WHY they are being chased by alien fiends, by the way, although knowing the stupid unusable Fatal Weakness might be part of the reason. Why the aliens are worried about a Fatal Weakness is a complete mystery, because all they're planning on doing is bringing about the second coming of Christ, except they can't do that anymore, so why bother?

But they do end in a shipper-pleasing scene in a dingy motel room, waxing sentimental.

I always thought that aside from the stupid bodysnatcher business, the alien plot was probably something pretty benign.

Chuckles said...

Really? They were actually trying to bring about the Second Coming of Christ? When I heard some people talking about that I thought it was a joke.

Mandos said...

KIND OF SPOILERS!!!
.
.
.
.

They even had a symbolic nativity scene episode, complete with manger (cabin in the woods), chorus of angels (bodysnatched alien fiends talking in unison), Joseph (Agent Reyes), and Three Wise Men (incl. Skinner) following the Star of Bethlehem (presumably an alien probe) on camels (a helicopter).

Guess who the Virgin Mary was. Yep.

However, this plot thread was abandoned in a horrendously disappointing anticlimax involving a disfigured Kruiczek as a boring deus ex machina.

It's utility to the Alien Plot was therefore rendered even less clear, because the Plot continues without its Christ.

Chuckles said...

So...what happened to the non-Christ baby? And how the fuck does this relate to the black oil goo stuff?

Mandos said...

After several tantalizing episodes showing the Virgin Mary attempting to raise the baby but finding out that the baby had enormous superpowers especially the power to control and levitate the ship shard in the Virgin Mary's desk drawer, Kruiczek (or however you spell his name) arrives pretending to be Mulder, who has been missing for most of the season.

He can pretend because he has been disfigured by horrible experiments performed on him while he was imprisoned. Getting his due, I guess. Anyway, he comes bearing an anti-alien vaccine and while Scully isn't looking, he injects her baby with it.

Baby becomes normal, effortlessly. A weepy Scully gives the baby away to a normal, wholesome heartland family via anonymous adoption, in case the aliens come by and try to realienify the baby. Because alien fiends running a world-spanning infiltraton conspiracy cannot perform simple database queries on adoption records.

No more Second Coming. Just to rub it in, Chris Carter gives us a final glimpse of the baby in his new home attempting to use his superpowers and failing. The end.

Mandos said...

Note that this played out over about 10 episodes only to yield NULL.

The black oil? As far as I can make of it, it is this:

The oil will rise up and take over our bodies, and we will become slaves to Mechachrist Scully as alien fiends lord it over us all.

Somewhere in this, the Day of Judgement happens and the cities of the world are burnt down by invincible alien triangle ships.

I think the best summary is this:

1. Black oil.
2. Second Coming.
3. ???
4. Profit!

However, the aliens have a weakness. Magnetite. A magnetite rock formation has the power to spin alien fiends so fast that they explode. Magnetite can be used as an anti black oil vaccine.

Mulder and Scully end up on the run because they know it.

Chuckles said...

Jesus Christ, that sounds like somebody lost track of the series after a few too many acid trips.