All I want for this year's non-denominational, secular, winter holiday1 is a TITAN MISSILE BASE. Available for an easy 1.5 million dollars, this is a steal. That is cheaper than Tuck a l'Orange paid for his house last summer and this base has enough room for a viable community during the zombacolypse.2 I would dig a 15 foot high concrete wall with a walkway and 10 foot dry moat with a french drain around the perimeter, providing me with 25 feet of protection from the ravening hordes. The french drain would feed into the property to help with crops. I just need some hydroponics in the basement as a back up and at least one engineer to help with the solar and wind power rigs. And enough smart and able people to create a viable society. And some extra ladies, just in case. Just doing my part to close the mineshaft gap.
1 Preemptive strike in this year's War on Christmas! Launch the Teen Titan Missiles!
2 That is my phrase, you thieving cobag t-shirt companies. I will sue the shit out of you with my team of robot lawyers if you try to print that on a shirt.